Welcome to my Warrior Mums, a collection of family journeys from parents of children/adults with special needs. Some of our mums are advocates or established campaigners, one is a midwife, then we have two nurses, three teachers, two solicitors and a GP....

We've had to adapt to so many government cuts and policies in the last few years and it's taken its toll on families. A major concern is when a young person reaches the age of 18, regardless of whether they have autism or a severe learning disability, legally, they are classed as an adult. As a parent you can no longer make decisions on their behalf. Some Councils are more humane than others and continue to include the family, but for others... and this seems to be a familiar complaint - if your loved one is in Care and you upset the care staff - or social workers -then the chances are they will stop you from visiting. I know one parent who was notified her son had split his head open and was rushed to hospital to have his wound stitched, a week after it happened. Staff didn’t notify her at the time of the emergency because they didn’t have to! Some parents have no contact or information regarding medication or any other health issues about their loved one's welfare, all under the guise of 'best interest'.

The misuse of the Mental Capacity Act has brought a huge increase in applications for Deprivation of Liberty safeguards through the courts. It's hard to believe that in 2017 this government are advocating locking up (and Sectioning) people with special needs in NHS Units and depriving them of family contact. These vulnerable people who are being unfairly punished because this government are unable to meet their care needs, would have had more freedom in the 70s living in large 'institutions' than they do in community care and independent 'of family' living' today...

This blog has given parents the opportunity to share the experience of their unforseen life with a special needs son/daughter. Some have had great support and professional guidance whilst others, sadly, have been lied about and deceived, blamed for their child's 'problems' by some who have no understanding of the disability. Facts about their family life have been distorted and manipulated into many untruths, making parents only too aware that their reputation precedes them in every meeting they attend. They feel judged, disrespected and ganged up on. Telling THEIR story in Warrior Mums puts THEIR truth 'out there' for all to see.
These stories are not only a means of support for parents but also a learning curve for our learning disability nurse following and other professionals.

Thanks for reading and please feel free to get in touch on the contact form below if you would like me to write your story or I can be of any help.

Take care

Michelle

25 October 2012

"WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS"

Well, it's finally here - that labour of love that has consumed me for the last two years - that is of course when I wasn't caring for my daughter. I don't mind telling you that juggling writing and being a full time carer to my lovely daughter has been exhausting. I know many of you will understand what I mean because lots of you are also carers. Our priority is to care and nurture a family member that is totally dependant on our love and support, which often leaves us little time or energy to develop our own interests. We become isolated and can easilly forget there's a world out there that still holds a place for  us.  


So last Christmas I made a pact with myself; writing and caring had to somehow be separated and I had to establish some kind of writing schedule or I would never finish my book. I needed peace and quiet, without any distractions.

I decided that when Marie went to bed at 11pm (well, she is 47!) that I would also hit the hay. I set my alarm clock for 2.30 in the morning and crossed my fingers. It was difficult at first. I would fall out of bed at that Godforsaken hour telling myself over and over it had to be done. It was the only way I would ever achieve my goal. I wrapped myself in my pink fluffy dressing gown and slippers (resembling a big fat marshmallow) and headed for the kitchen to make a cuppa. Then I lit a candle and placed that burning flame of hope on my desk, rubbed my sleepy eyes and switched on my computer.

1970 Age 5 Learning to walk
You see my daughter inspires me more than anybody. She has a severe learning disability, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, dysphasia and scoliosis, yet she goes to bed and awakes with a big smile on her face. If she can cope with all that life's dealt her then I should be able to do anything. No excuses. 

It was hard - so so hard, but I stuck with it night after night, week after week, month after month, until With a Little Help From my Friends was completed. 

I look back now and wonder how I did it. But I didn't do it alone. With my  lovely daughter's courage and inspiration and my determination, I say we wrote that book together. 


10 comments:

  1. You inspire me to work even harder, Michelle. Best of luck on, With a Little Help From my Friends.

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  2. Best of luck with your book. I think its amazing what you have achieved and I'm sure you will inspire other writers. I'm only a blogger but know only too well how hard it is to write when caring for someone. Deb (@MumForAutism)

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    1. Thanks Deb! "I'm only a blogger" indeed! You know what they say, what doesn't kill you makes you strong, and we've all been there, haven't we?

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  3. An incredible tale of immense courage and determination - and I'm just talking about this blog post! I can't wait to read the book. What Marie's life would have been like had you not come along doesn't bear thinking about and, as a parent of a disabled child, sends shivers down my spine. I so admire your self-discipline in writing at night,too, the way you did.

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    1. Hello Ruth, many thanks for the kind words and support. I'm honoured to have met such wonderful special needs mums on Facebook and Twitter. Isn't it great that we can share our stories, give each other advice and even have a good moan.
      I hope you enjoy With a Little Help From My Friends. I'm sure there'll be a lot in my book that will resonate with you

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  4. What an inspiration you are, dearest Michelle! Your dedication and loving heart are shining examples of what is best in a human being. I'm truly looking forward to reading "With a Little Help From my Friends!"

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  5. Gosh Michelle, I had been pondering waking early to write, but I had 5am in mind, not an astonishing 2.30! You are truly incredible. Much love and thank you for what you do.

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  6. Thank you Hayley. Oh, the things we do for love. :) xx

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